I Will Remember

My heart has been full these last couple of days. Yesterday, when I woke up, a flag had been placed on my lawn in remembrance of 9-11.

I can still remember the events of that day, like it was yesterday. I had been working the night before at Gap doing a big fall floor set. I had come home from work the following morning at about 3:30 or 4. I was quite tired.

At about 10ish, I started becoming a bit more coherent. My baby needed to fed. I had the TV on and I remember not really paying much attention to it. It looked like the people were talking about a war, and when that subject comes up, I usually tune out. (I know, that's really bad- ha)

Anyway, after awhile of this, I finally started listening. The footage that was being shown looked like modern day stuff, so I thought maybe I should pay the story a bit more attention. I remember watching a clip where Mat Lower speaking with live footage of the towers behind him, when the second plane hit the other tower. Then, chaos.

Before the attacks, I always felt like our country was indestructible. I had never really feared my safety. I had never really given my freedoms a second thought. I had never felt so vulnerable in my life. For days I watched the news. I remember for what seemed like a week (though I think it was only about 2 days) there was literally nothing on the TV except coverage of the tragedies that had taken place. I even got post-traumatic stress syndrome. I know it sounds like I'm making that part up, but I promise you I'm not. I threw my back out bending down to pick up Super. I couldn't move off my belly for a couple of hours. It was at that point that Jason put his foot down and told me I needed to do something besides watch the news. I don't even know why I kept watching it either. It wasn't like anything was going to change if I did.

I really don't want to dwell on the negatives of that day. (There certainly were a lot of them.) Instead, I want to think of all the heroes that were born that day. I want to remember all of the firefighters, police officers, and other emergency crew that lost their lives in the service of the people. And I want to remember the passengers who took over their plane just before crashing in a field near Pittsburgh. I want to remember all the people who volunteered after the fact at ground zero, helping to sift through the rubble in search of remains. I want to remember the way we came together as a nation. I want to remember the pride we felt to be an American. I want to remember how lucky we are to live in a free country and what that means to us.

I will remember.